he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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