The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I wish i was in the wii world.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
