At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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