WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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