wrigley field is MILF paradise
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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