ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
