Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Randomize
