You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
