I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
If I die, sorry about rent.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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