I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
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