Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Randomize
