There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
