go do what you do best...puke behind churches
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
