so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
