My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Acid is not a monday night drug
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
