i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Randomize
