sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
