This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Farmville is her only friend.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
the liver wants what the liver wants
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦🏼♀️
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Randomize
