Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
