Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
