Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
