you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
You have to summon your inner elephant
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Randomize
