How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
Randomize
