AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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