p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
he was CRYING into my vagina
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
