found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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