Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Your dad touched me again.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
