i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Randomize
