Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
