You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
