now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
