Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
