You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Boobs are out for the taking
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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