Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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