He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
