how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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