he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
