I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Randomize
