bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Randomize
