two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
