im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
