Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
We just shotgunned beers for America
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
