i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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