a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Randomize
