But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
