who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
