So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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