pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
