i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
