it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
