I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
